How We Won The Championship - By Brian M.

Congratulations Guys!

After several years of being the Buffalo Bills of softball, we finally sealed the deal and brought the title to where it belongs, the basement of craig's parents house, where no female will ever see it, but i will be personally grateful to look at the next time I play PS2 down there.

Although the only thing craig ever consulted me on on was my jersey #, I am your self appointed assistant mgr. So let's recap how we got here.

First and Foremost:



STEROIDS

Without this key member of our team we coud not have been here. Without this "jungle juice" we would actually have to use our natural talent instead of Mark Mcgwire in a bottle. Without this "miracle hit", singles by myself, Craig, and Jeremy would have been, well, just far weaker singles, perhaps even dribblers back to the pitcher. I don't want to speculate who else was on the juice or how it was acquired but during a flashforward I had there was a vision of Stu Plotkin testifying before congress without his oriole hat. In it were before and after pics of him. You be the judge.





From my flashforward, I am also glad to announce that we win the 2039 championship (see below) but saddened to announce Greg Roll is not in the photo, as he dies from a binge drinking accident sometime next year. Apparently, we add a black guy to the team at some point between now and then. Sorry Eric, I know how this upsets you.



2) Tylenol



Without this, i think several players, but mostly Greg Roll, could not have made the games on Sunday mornings. He is by far the most giftest softball player while being hungover that I have ever seen. He hits like a man's man and hold's his liquor like daddy's little girl, a rare combination.

3) Rob Roll



Without Rob's array of pump fakes, pump fakes, pump fakes, pump fakes, pump fakes....okay i'll deliver the line now... cricket pitches, and smuckleballs we could not have won. But..... we would have had several hours of our lives back instead of playing softball, as our games would have finished sevearl hours sooner. I don't know about you guys but I am looking forward to next year. Rob will be perfecting a new pitch where he actually shoots the ball out of his ass.....that is one ball that I will let Adam call me off on.

4) Dave Roll's Beard



Perhaps the brawny paper towel guy, perhaps Scott's rabbi, it doesn't really matter, you want this guy on your team. His beard harnesses the same power that Johhny Damon's hair harnessed during the Red Sox championship run in 2003. In fact body hair in general makes us play better and we have a lot of it.

I mean really, have you seen some of the wilderbeasts on our team, it's like the inspiration for the movie Where the Wild Things Are. I'll tell you where they are. In a blue unform. John Zafonte, the townspeople are going to start chasing him with torches. Adam Goldberg, I loved you in star wars. In honor of our Hair-a-tige, here is a preview of next year's uniforms.



5) Gay Sweatpants



Last but not least. Whether it was Adam's maroon pantalones or my aqua trousers, it just seemd like we were playing in a softball league at cherry grove at times. I even worked in the bright orange occasionally, just to ensure there was no confusion whether we were a gay or straight team. I don't know why, but we just felt the need to express ourself in wardrobe as though it was the mid 80's ....and "we were just experimenting". In honor of this our 2010 team name will the "Alternative Lifestyle Allstars".

Here is the trophy, you earned it.



Thanks again for the great season. Your assistant mgr. out.

Gamers Eliminated From Turkey Shootout in 2nd Round

Hicksville, NY -

After winning the first championship in team history prior to the start of the annual Turkey Shootout the Gamers had a chance to make history and become the first team to win two championships in one day. However, it was not to be as they were eliminated in the second round of the tournament in controversial fashion.

In the first round the Gamers took on the Warriors (not the Warriors from their division) in a best of three series. But with the Gamers still fired up from having won the title the games weren't even close.

In the first game the Gamers, boosted by the additions of Rich and Andrew from Darkside, got of a quick 6-0 start highlighted by a bases clearing double from Andrew. As impressive as that was it paled in comparison to the thirteen run explosion they had in the second inning to blow the game wide open. They would go on to win 23-8 with Rob Roll hitting a 3 run homerun to win the game by run rule. Unfortunately, for the Gamers it was not all good news as they lost outfielder Dave Roll to a hamstring injury.

In a scene straight out of Saving Private Ryan, one of the Gamers other outfielders Greg Roll, was benched at the start of the second game. Having already lost one Roll to injury on the day the Gamers were under strict orders to make sure that they didn't lose another one. Without Greg and Dave in the lineup the second game was a lot more competitive as the Gamers only led 2-1 after three innings. But their bats finally woke up with a five run 4th inning which segwayed into a ten run explosion in the fifth to pad the cushion. Jon Zafonte homered, one of three homeruns for him during the tournament, and Scott Zimmerman continued his hot hitting with a two run double part of a 4 for 4 day. From there the Gamers would go on to win 18-10.

After those two easy wins the Gamers had a long lay off and that seemed to affect them at the start of the second round as their bats cooled down. Although losing Zimmerman, Brian Malfettone and Dave Roll could be to blame as well. Whatever the reason they were unable to get anything going offensively losing a pitcher's duel 9-7 to a team that they believe was losing an illegal bat. After that bat was taken out of play they didn't score another run but it didn't matter as the Gamers couldn't sustain any long rallies to overtake them.

Despite the controversial loss it was a good day overall for the Gamers who won their first championship and added an impressive sweep of the Warriors on top of it.

Gamers Defeat Gameface To Win ABA D Level Championship

Hicksville, NY -

Just hours after they knocked off Just The Tip to reach the Championship Game and just one hour before they were scheduled to play in the Turkey Shootout the Gamers (12-4) defeated the two time defending league champions Game Face (12-3) to win the first championship in their team history.

These two teams were on a collision course since the second week of the season when they almost got into a fight during the second game of their double header which the Gamers swept. With that incident still fresh in everyone's minds emotions were running high throughout the game.

For a while though it seemed like the Gamers were going to coast to an easy victory jumping out to an early 7-0 after their first two at bats. However, Game Face answered right back with an 8 run explosion in the bottom of the 2nd inning as is their m.o. That 8 run inning was the sixth time this year that the Gamers have given up five or more runs in an inning. Avoiding the big inning was one of the Gamers goals coming into the game but they were unable to do so.

At that point all signs were pointing to an epic back and forth classic that would come down to the final at bat. Unfortunately, for Game Face it never came down to that. The Gamers offense was just too explosive on this day continuing their assault with six more runs in the top of the 3rd highlighted by a three run homerun by Brian Malfettone. They would add three more in the 4th and five more in the 5th while shutting out Game Face the rest of the way to win the championship via run rule. A very surprising outcome considering the battles these two teams waged earlier in the season.

Offensively, the Gamers were led by Scott Zimmerman who went 3 for 3 with 5 rbis, Stu Plotkin who went 2 for 2 with a walk and 3 rbis, and Jimmmy Dundon who was 4 for 4 with four runs scored. All in all, it was a total team effort as every player scored at least one run and nine different players drove in at least one run.

Gamers Cruise Into Championship Game

Hicksville, NY -

With the field at Burns Park in Massapequa submerged under water the Gamers' first round playoff matchup with Just The Tip was delayed half an hour and moved to Cantiague Park in Hicksville.

The sudden change of plans seemed to effect the Gamers as they fell behind by six runs in the top of the first inning only escaping further damage when Rob Roll snared a line drive and turned it into a double play. With a six run deficit to make up right off the bat the Gamers' championship hopes looked bleak. Five minutes later those hopes were alive when as the Gamers responded in a big way in the bottom of the first with an eleven run outburst capped off by a two run inside the park homerun from Roll.

After holding Just The Tip scoreless in the second inning the Gamers tacked on six more runs in the second inning on a leadoff homerun from Adam Goldberg, his team leading 5th, and a grand slam from Scott Zimmerman. Brian Malfettone also homered but unfortunately that did not count due to the two homerun rule. Later in the game Stu Plotkin and Adam Goldberg would be victimized by that as well.

With a 17-6 lead after 3 innings the Gamers turned their attention to trying to win by run rule which was 12 runs after 5 innings. They had a chance to do just that after Brian Malfettone's RBI single in the 4th put them up 12. But unfortunately Jimmy Dundon, on to close out the game, couldn't escape a bases loaded jam, allowing one run to score a throwing error that kept the game alive. After failing to score in the bottom of the fifth the Gamers held Just The Tip scoreless again in the top of the 6th ending the inning of an around the horn double play started by Seth Koslow at third base and turned by Craig Shames at second base. (Shames was splitting time at second base with Danny Balestas who earlier in the game made a nice diving stop to get a force out at second base.)

With the game now in the bottom of the sixth the Gamers just needed to score one run in order to lock up the victory and they managed to do so after Stu Plotkin hit a double with one out. After a walk to Koslow, Scott Zimmerman came up huge again with a single to left to score Plotkin.

The Gamers will now turn their attention to Game Face in Sunday's championship game. These two teams have been a collision course all year after almost getting into a fight earlier in the year so it's only fitting that it would come down to this.

Playoff Preview

Massapequa, NY -

After a two year hiatus the Gamers (10-4) returned to action this Fall with a new look roster. Expectations were high despite the long layoff and the Gamers did not disappoint finishing in second place in their division.

Defense was the key to their success as their plus minus rating of +95 lead the division. They were the only team to give up fewer than 100 runs on the season and on average only gave up 6.6 runs per game. The next closest team was at 12.67. The pump faking antics of original Gamer Rob Roll, in his first season as a pitcher, can be thanked in large part for helping tighten up the defense.

Roll will be on the mound on Saturday when the Gamers take on Just The Tip in a first round playoff showdown. These two teams split their early season matchup but keep in mind that the Gamers played with only nine guys. On top of that they were missing Brian Malfettone, Seth Koslow and Jimmy Dundon and had not yet added Stu Plotkin to the team. They had also not yet set their defense with Greg Roll playing out of position at shortstop, Adam Goldberg at third, and Dave Roll in rightfield. With their defense now in order and a full roster on hand the Gamers should be in much better shape.

Due to time constraints the format will consist of just one nine inning game as opposed to the traditional 2 out of 3 format. This figures to benefit the Gamers who would have been without several key players had the format caused the games to drag on into the afternoon.

The game will be played at Burns Park in Massapequa at 9:30 am. Burns Park is one of the better fields on Long Island as it has a turf field. It was chosen since it is well suited to handle wet field conditions. As a result this game figures to get played regardless of weather conditions the day/night before.

If the Gamers win they will take on Game Face, who won the division, and then knocked off the #4 seed the Warriors on Wednesday night at Cantiague Park in a 2 out of 3 series. Game Face won the first game in dramatic fashion coming from five runs down in the bottom of the seventh inning and then winning on a walkoff grand slam. They then held on to win by two runs in the second game to secure the sweep.

The championship game will likely be held at 8 am at Cantiague Park in Hicksville prior to the start of the Turkey Shootout which is scheduled to start at 9:30. In the Shootout the Gamers are now scheduled to play the Warriors a high powered offensive team that went 9-2 during the Fall.

Between a playoff game on Saturday, possible championship game on Sunday and then the Turkey Shootout on top of it the Gamers are on in a for a long weekend. But if they pull through they could win win a league championship and a Turkey Shootout championship all in the same day.

Gamers End Season With Split Against Warriors

New Hyde Park, NY -

With the #1 seed for the playoffs in sight the Gamers (10-4) came out strong against the Warriors, (6-8) exploding for 8 runs in the first inning easily setting up a 15-2 run rule victory.

The eight run explosion was highlighted by consecutive triples from Adam Goldberg, Greg Roll, and Jon Zafonte. Stu Plotkin and Brian Malfettone then followed with sucessive doubles keeping the rally going until it was capped off by a bases clearing double from Craig Shames.

In the second inning Greg Roll hit a 2 run homerun to get the inning started off on the right foot and the Gamers plated 5 more runs highlighted by a Plotkin double, a triple from Eric Dundon, and rbi singles from Danny Balestas and Jeremy Webman.

In the second game the Gamers came out flat against a Warriors team fighting for their playoff lives. After failing to score in the first two innings the Gamers went ahead 3-2 after scoring 3 runs in the third on RBI singles from Dave Roll and Goldberg and a sac fly from Zafonte. But the Warriors answered right back with four runs of their own off of Malfettone, who was making his first pitching appearance of the year. Malfettone actually pitched really well, picking up a strikeout, and making one of the plays of the year, bare handing a throw from Plotkin after a grounder to first base, to narrowly get the speedy Jimmy Mac hustling down the line.

Despite that defensive play, a diving catch from Greg Roll and Plotkin throwing a runner out at home, the Gamers still found themselves trailing by six runs going into the 7th inning. They rallied furiously including a 3 run homerun from Goldberg but still fell three runs short.

The Warriors will now await the results of the other games today to find out if they made the playoffs while the Gamers will take solace knowing that they locked up the #2 seed with the split.

Gamers End Regular Season With Doubleheader Sweep

Hicksville, NY -

With four of their players stuck in traffic the Gamers (9-3) had to start the first game with only 7 players including an injured Craig Shames who was not supposed to be playing. As a result they fell behind after the first inning by a score of 5-2.

It looked like they would be in for a long day but they rallied for two runs in the fourth inning as Stu Plotkin and Brian Malfettone singled, Jeremy Webman hit a sac fly, and Dave Roll added another run scoring hit. After giving up two runs in the fifth inning the Gamers were able to get those right back in the sixth as Malfettone came up huge again with a 2 run double to dead center that scored Plotkin and Jimmy Dundon.

Still trailing by a run in the 7th inning the Gamers exploded for a ten spot to put the game out of reach. The rally started when Greg Roll singled and then Tom McGrath doubled. McGrath who showed no signs of rust in his first game action of the year was 6 for 7 on the day. After Shames walked, Rob Roll came up and hit a well timed Grand Slam. With a 2 home run limit on a short field, the fact that Roll still had that homerun to use was the difference in the game. The Hustlers hit about 9 homeruns but after the first two those all went for outs. Meanwhile the Gamers saved their homerun for when it counted most. Dundon had hit a two run shot in the first innning for their other homerun.

All in all, it was a total team effort in the first game as every player scored at least one run led by Dundon and Plotkin who had three each and Adam Goldberg who chipped in two as part of a 2 for 4 day. Goldberg also played his usual stellar defense even turning a double play to end the game, one of three double plays that the Gamers turned on the day.

In the second game it was more of the same as the Gamers followed up their 16-7 win with a 13-4 victory. Offensively they were led by Zafonte went 4 for 4 and Dundon who went 3 for 4 as both hit three run homeruns. Meanwhile the trio of McGrath, Webman and Shames went a combined 8 for 9 to spark the bottom of the lineup.

With the game easily in hand Shames told Greg Roll that if he hit a homerun in his next at bat that he could chose where he wanted to play defensively. However, when Zafonte used the Gamers second homerun on his three run shot that was no longer possible. So Greg went out and hit a shot to left center that went off the top of the fence coming as close to hitting a homerun as you could without actually hitting a homerun. That was good enough to allow for Shames to make good on his promise so the Gamers mixed things up defensively in the middle innings with Greg Roll making his season debut on the mound. He served up a solo homerun but otherwise pitched brilliantly over 2 innings, including turning the rare 1-6-3 double play, before giving way to Dundon for the save. The revamped defense also saw Rob Roll, Zafonte and Goldberg make their first appearances of the year in the outfield although in Zafonte's case it wasn't by choice as he lost a hard fought contest of Rock, Paper, Scissors with Greg Roll prior to the 7th inning.

The Gamers will now await word of their playoff opponent. Pending the outcome of the Game Face game today the Gamers will either be the first or second seed for the post season.